Action Movie Fanatix Review: Kiss of the Vampire

A Taste For Blood… And A Search For Immortality!

Starring: Daniel Goddard, Katherine Hawkes, Eric Etebari, Martin Kove, Costas Mandylor, Gary Daniels, Phil Fondacaro, Matthias Hues

Director: Joe Tornatore

2007  |  101 Minutes  |  Rated R

“You know nothing would greater pleasure than to be your knight in shining armor.” – Alex Stone

There are TONS of bad vampire movies out there.  Kiss of the Vampire might take the cake for worst of all time.

A coven of vampires led by Alex Stone (Daniel Goddard)are killing and feeding on the residents of a sleepy town.  The police have been unable to stop them so they call in Marshall Pope (Matthias Hues), an Interpol vampire hunter.  Alex falls in love with Estelle Henderson (Katherine Hawkes), whose father has connections to the Illuminati.  Alex asks if Estelle’s father will use his scientific knowledge and connections to the Illuminati to help make him mortal again so that he can have a relationship with Estelle.

Kiss of the Vampire is a bad movie that tried to do too much.  Vampires, Illuminati, Police, Interpol and a love story to boot.  Plus we have multiple characters from each of those areas that all end up with limited screen time to establish their characters.  It’s a mess.

I basically bought Kiss of the Vampire (don’t worry, I didn’t pay much) because it had Gary Daniels, Martin Kove and Costas Mandylor in it but they are all relegated to background characters.  Actually, everyone is a background character here.  There just isn’t enough screen time for anyone to be considered a main character.

On top of all that the dialogue is some of the most poorly written I have ever heard and the music is equally atrocious.

The shot quality is actually pretty decent though.  This is one of the few positives I can give to this film (if I can even call it that).  The director seems to be capable of framing interesting shots.  That’s it.  That’s all he’s got but at least it’s something.

Hey, here’s something you’ve never seen.  Vampires that like techno.  Would you believe that after dancing for a bit they lure one of the guys back to their lair to feast on him?  Never saw that one coming.

Another of my many annoyances was the constant soft filter that was used when Estelle was on the screen.  We get it, she’s a pretty girl.  You don’t need to beat us over the head with “special” effects to enhance it.  I actually think that the soft filter took away from her beauty.  It’s more like I am looking at a moderately (or worse) girl at the end of a night of drinking who now looks gorgeous because I can’t see straight.  Katherine Hawkes doesn’t need that effect though.

Lastly, there is a scene where we have some police raiding a building (I’ve almost completely lost interest at this point so I couldn’t begin to tell you why) and there is what appears to be a remote control model helicopter hovering above.  Evidently they couldn’t afford a real helicopter and instead of just not having a helicopter they opted for a way to small model.

There isn’t much for action fans here.  There are some gun fights, vampires killing and vampire killings but nothing that is good enough to make this watchable.

There is really no reason for anyone to watch this.  It doesn’t do anybody justice even though there are a few good name talents involved.  I hope they got paid well for this but fear they probably didn’t.