Action Movie Fanatix Review: Equalizer 2000

Equalizer 2000 banner

A Warrior Without Equal.  A Weapon Without Limits.

Starring: Richard Norton, Corinne Wahl, Robert Patrick

Director: Cirio H. Santiago

1988  |  85 Minutes  |  Not Rated

“That’s politics, this is personal.” – Slade

After reading Explosive Action’s review of Equalizer 2000 I knew that it would be right up my alley.  Post Apocalyptic worlds, badasses, crazy cars, big ass guns, bloody battles… these are a few of my favorite things.

In the post-apocalyptic future The Ownership is the brutal governing force.  After being ousted from The Ownership following his capture, Slade (Richard Norton) joins a group of rebels to combat The Ownership armies.  Slade finds a half completed firearm which he finishes and names the Equalizer 2000, which might just be what it takes to overthrow The Ownership.

I had said I was a little disappointed in the misleading cover of The Annihilators but luckily the Equalizer 2000 looks exactly like it does on the cover.  It has six barrels.  At least one is pumping heavy machine gun firepower.  One is a shotgun.  Two are grenade launchers.  I’m not quire sure what the extra barrels are for but I imagine he could have attached multiple shotguns or different versions of machine guns to it for added oomph during full auto sessions.

The entire story revolves around this magnificent piece of firepower.  We are essentially told that whoever holds it will rule the post-apocalyptic world.  We have other characters some good, some bad but everything comes back to the Equalizer 2000.

Our hero is an awesomely bearded, leather pants & vest wearing, bare chest exposed Richard Norton.  To say he looks bad ass is an understatement… especially while holding the Equalizer.

You would think that women in the post-apocalyptic world would stop dressing scantily in tight leather.  Bad guys seem to get all rapey at the first sight of anything even remotely female.  If I were a female running around in the post-apocalyptic world I would do everything in my power to appear like a man.  But I guess if you hire a Penthouse (Corinne Wahl) pet to play one of your leads in a movie you aren’t going to cover her up.

There are at least five different groups in said post-apocalyptica:

  • The Ownership – evil, oil mongering bad guys.  Boooo!
  • Deke’s (Robert Patrick) crew – who briefly take up sides with The Ownership before Deke is tempted by the power of the Equalizer 2000.
  • The Rebels – camo wearing militants who don’t stand a chance against The Ownership without…
  • The Mountain People – armed with nothing more than spears and bows
  • Karen (Corinne Wahl) and company – basically a smaller group of rebels

The action is basically non-stop for the full 85 minutes it is on your screen whether that means the Equalizer 2000 is blasting away (which would have sounded amazing in THX surround sound at a theater), fist fighting or the car chases… oh the car chases.  No post-apocalyptic movie is complete without some awesome cars and these heavily armored, spiky rust bucket cars are in just about every scene of the movie.  Just as they should be.  And apparently all of said action takes place in rock quarries in the future.  Makes sense to me.

The final battle involves all of the remaining groups that are still in existence at the end of the film and it is an awesome blow off to a really great ride.  It starts off with the rebels charging in on their spiky vehicles followed by the Mountain people shooting their arrows and throwing their spears.  This leaves The Ownership to defend their base with dun-dun-daaaaaa – FLAMETHROWER TURRETS… how freaking awesome is that!

If you couldn’t tell, I had a ton of fun watching Equalizer 2000 and I will definitely be watching it again and again.  So glad I bought it.  I can’t recommend it enough to fans of action fans.  It is just an absolute blast from start to finish.