Action Movie Fanatix Review: No Dead Heroes

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Mission: Terminate the KGB Jungle Experiments.
Goal: Destroy the Human Killing Machines.
Order: Leave No One Alive!

Starring: Max Thayer, John Dresden, Nick Nicholson, Toni Nero

Director: Junn P. Cabreira/J.C. Miller

1986  |  86 Minutes  |  Not Rated

“Fuck you Baylor, I’m not one of your pawns anymore.” – Richard Sanders

No Dead Heroes is another movie I HAD to check out after the favorable review by our buddies over at Comeuppance Reviews.  No Dead Heroes isn’t available on DVD so the only option to see it is tracking down an old VHS… which I did.

Lt. Richard Sanders has no choice but to accept one final mission.  Capt. Harry Cotter, Sanders’ former colleague prior to being taken captive in Vietnam, has become a victim of KGB experiments.  He has had a micro-chip implanted in his brain which controls his mind and has turned him into an unstoppable killing machine.  Now, 10 years later, Sanders is sent back in to bring Cotter back alive.

Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve hot him on the spot, welcome back… Welcome back Mr. Cottayyyyr!  You’re a top secret KGB killing machine now…  welcome back, welcome back, welcome back…

Oh, man!!!  No Dead Heroes is off its own rocker.  This movie is crazy!  And, holy crap, do suckas get mowed down here or what.  The scenes of action have little to no dialogue, just Russians, Vietnamese and/or Cubans getting shot to hell over and over.  There’s explosions everywhere.  Machineguns everywhere.  There must have been hundreds of commies killed throughout this movie.

I’m not sure if pistol grip pump shotguns or crossbows were standard issue in Vietnam but they certainly don’t seem like they would be the best choices.  Regardless of what my logic tells me they were the weapons of choice for the soldiers invading the Viet-Cong camp at the beginning of the movie.

All the stabbings and arrow sticks have the exact same “tick” sound effect.  All you hear as the U.S. soldiers sneak through a Viet Cong camp is tick, tick, tick as they kill their enemies trying to free the trapped American soldiers.

The acting and dialogue are atrocious.  Truly some of the worst I have ever seen.  But, then again, I wasn’t expecting much.

The music is comically bad.  Inappropriate for almost every scene.

I’m not sure if No Dead Heroes qualifies as so bad it’s good material.  By most logical standards it is not at all a good movie but it is most certainly the type of movie that could be quite entertaining given the right circumstances (a few cold ones and a few friends).  It’s crazy stupid fun but it’s unfortunately not overly memorable.

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