Starring: Ray Besharah, Brett Kelly, Celine Filion, Jody Haucke
Director: Brett Kelly
2011 | 85 Minutes | Not Rated
“It would be a shame to start shooting people. It’s bad for business, don’t cha know.” – Evan
I hit play on the ole Netflix instant cue when I came across Adventures of Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor thinking it was the same Thor movie I had caught a minute of on SyFy a while back. It wasn’t. That movie probably sucked too but probably not as much as this one did.
Adventures of Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor tells the story of Grant Farrel (Ray Besharah), a nerdy government scientist who inherits the powers of Thor. He dons the top secret armored suit that he had been working on for the government and becomes THUNDERSTORM! As Thunderstorm he fights to stop a gangster and the reincarnated evil enchantress Hel from bringing about Ragnarok, the ultimate destruction of the Asgardian realm.
Apparently nobody ever told director/actor Brett Kelly how important first impressions are. The first three minutes are nothing more than scrolling text with a Canadian dude reading said text. By the echoey sound of his voice I would have to guess his location during recording to have been a deep well but I can’t be sure.
Once the seemingly endless scrolling text comes to an end we are treated to another two minutes of pre-movie credits, accompanied by a repeating CGI background of big bangs and sparks. You can actually see where this stock CGI footage loop stops and restarts again. Not good, Brett. Not good.
Even though you rarely get a second chance for a first impression, you should at least try. If someone came to me and told me this whole movie was a high school project or something, I would completely believe them. This thing feels cheap as hell. I have said movies felt cheap before but this one takes the cake.
The sets? Well, a museum is just a room with a couple paintings on the walls. The hospital is a hallway with a couple rooms down each side. The police station is a room with an interrogation table in it. Every interior location could have been filmed inside one building.
Now you’re thinking “OK, but the Thunderstorm suit is cool, right?” WRONG! It’s nothing more than black spandex with a chestpiece, hockey gloves and a repainted Iron Man helmet. Yup! That’s it.
Then you throw in some piss poor acting with Canadian accents and some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a feature film and you have Adventures of Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor.
Seriously, how is this even a movie? How did it get a DVD made? How did it even make it to Netflix? Adventures of Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor is literally one of the worst movies I have ever seen. If I hadn’t been watching for a review I would have turned it off before I even made it through the scrolling text at the beginning. At the risk of being unclear… I cannot recommend anyone watching this movie.