He Promised His Son The Ultimate Toy This Christmas… But It Will Take A Superhero To Get It.
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jake Lloyd, James Belushi, Danny Woodburn, Paul Wight
Director: Brian Levant
1996 | 89 Minutes | PG
“Who told you you could eat my cookies?” – Howard Langston
With Christmas quickly approaching I decided to review a Christmas movie or two. Odds are most of us saw Jingle All The Way many years ago because… well… Arnold Schwarzenegger. It turns out that seventeen years later I am only seeing it for the second time and only because of… well… Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a desperate dad. It’s Christmas Eve and he’s stuck matching wits with a sleazy Santa, a stressed-out mailman and a horde of parents in a last ditch effort to procure a Turbo Man action figure, the hottest new toy of the season.
Since most of us have already seen this *ahem* gem I don’t have to explain to you that this isn’t an action movie. It is nothing more than a light hearted Christmas movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger with quite a few notable faces backing him up.
The only action is people fighting over action figures and trampling each other. And, I suppose, the parade brawl with Arnold in full Turbo Man getup and Sinbad as his brainy arch nemesis.
Yep, I said Sinbad. Remember him?
Howard’s son is played by Jake Lloyd who would later become Anakin Skywalker before disappearing to the sci-fi convention underworld.
WWE’s The Big Show (then known as WCW’s The Giant) makes also an appearance as a really big Santa who fights Arnold after the James Belushi Santa tries to sell him a Spanish bootleg Turbo Man figure.
What can I say? Jingle All The Way is a movie for children and, based on the writing, probably by children. Kids will get a bigger kick out of it than most guys like me but it was still good for a few laughs and a little nostalgia.
I don’t know, man. Maybe I’m still just a kid at heart but I still found some fun and laughs in this terrible movie. I know how bad it is and yet I still can’t help enjoying myself. I don’t know if that says more about me or the movie but I don’t care.