Action Movie Fanatix Review: Jingle All The Way

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He Promised His Son The Ultimate Toy This Christmas… But It Will Take A Superhero To Get It.

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jake Lloyd, James Belushi, Danny Woodburn, Paul Wight

Director: Brian Levant

1996  |  89 Minutes  |  PG

“Who told you you could eat my cookies?” – Howard Langston

With Christmas quickly approaching I decided to review a Christmas movie or two.  Odds are most of us saw Jingle All The Way many years ago because… well… Arnold Schwarzenegger.  It turns out that seventeen years later I am only seeing it for the second time and only because of… well… Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a desperate dad.   It’s Christmas Eve and he’s stuck matching wits with a sleazy Santa, a stressed-out mailman and a horde of parents in a last ditch effort to procure a Turbo Man action figure, the hottest new toy of the season.

Since most of us have already seen this *ahem* gem I don’t have to explain to you that this isn’t an action movie.  It is nothing more than a light hearted Christmas movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger with quite a few notable faces backing him up.

The only action is people fighting over action figures and trampling each other.  And, I suppose, the parade brawl with Arnold in full Turbo Man getup and Sinbad as his brainy arch nemesis.

Jingle All the Way Arnold

Yep, I said Sinbad.  Remember him?

Howard’s son is played by Jake Lloyd who would later become Anakin Skywalker before disappearing to the sci-fi convention underworld.

WWE’s The Big Show (then known as WCW’s The Giant) makes also an appearance as a really big Santa who fights Arnold after the James Belushi Santa tries to sell him a Spanish bootleg Turbo Man figure.

What can I say?  Jingle All The Way is a movie for children and, based on the writing, probably by children.  Kids will get a bigger kick out of it than most guys like me but it was still good for a few laughs and a little nostalgia.

I don’t know, man.  Maybe I’m still just a kid at heart but I still found some fun and laughs in this terrible movie.  I know how bad it is and yet I still can’t help enjoying myself.  I don’t know if that says more about me or the movie but I don’t care.

2 thoughts on “Action Movie Fanatix Review: Jingle All The Way

  1. Good review. Yeah, this one’s dumb, but it still holds a close place in my heart no matter how ridiculed it may get over the years. Still need to get me one of those damn Turbomen figures!

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