It’s Not About The Speed…
It’s About The Blood!
Starring: Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope, Scott “Raven” Levy, Jason Ellefson, Robert Pike Daniel
Director: Roy Knyrim
2008 | 92 Minutes | Rated R
“Where’d you learn how to drive, clown school?” – Fred The Hammer
I’ve been dragged down to the depths of Asylum again with Death Racers. Yet another purposely bad mockbuster.
The Reaper is a terrorist in the year 2033. Four teams of criminals – Severed Head Gant, Vaginamyte , Homeland Security and Insane Clown Posse, – have been entered into a race to kill the most criminals and find The Reaper to gain their freedom.
I actually didn’t know this was an Asylum release until the obnoxious credit sequence. To be fair, though, I did know that it starred the Insane Clown Posse and former ECW, WCW, WWE and TNA wrestler Raven so I can’t complain that I didn’t know it was going to be bad.
Asylum has been known to take an idea from a Hollywood movie and twisting it into something crappy. Usually they only take the basic idea of the blockbuster but this time they have copied even more than usual, even calling the event Death Race and screaming its name at us over and over.
Um… the acting isn’t very good. Do I need to even say that here? I don’t know but I can’t even understand some of the lines that fumble across the tongue of ICP. The movie is also filled with the type of humor that only a deprived 13-year-old or a juggalo would find humorous.
The action is basically a bunch of heads getting exploded or chopped off. I’m all for violent deaths and all but this is every frickin’ kill. Oh, and there’s a cyborg guy running around, occasionally showing up to explode somebody’s head or rape a member of the Vaginamytes with his huge metal crank.
The entire movie is basically filmed one ugly filter, another ugly filter, instant replays and/or tons of shaky cam. It’s truly an unsightly thing to watch.
Top all of that off with the horrible sounds that juggalos call music, even repeating a song about cutting the head off a mule. I would think their library of “songs” would be big enough to not have a song play more than once
Somehow Asylum has created something that is Sub-Asylum level but I can now say that I have a new worst movie of all time… so I guess I didn’t completely waste the last hour and a half…