Action Movie Fanatix Review: 7 Below

7 Below bannerEvil Has Found A New Home.

Starring: Luke Goss, Ving Rhames, Rebecca Da Costa, Val Kilmer, Tia Sage, Brianna Lee Johnson, Bonnie Somerville

Director: Kevin Carraway

2012 | 92 Minutes | Rated R

“Nothing a good shot of whiskey won’t cure.” – Bill McCormick

I felt like something different tonight. I’ve seen a few Luke Goss movies in the past and definitely enjoy the guy’s work but have yet to actually review one for the site – other than Tekken which is a good movie but not really a great example of Goss’ action chops. Seems kinda silly considering he’s one of the best action stars on the DTV market right now. 7 Below looked to have a somewhat interesting premise and a pretty decent cast. Looks can be deceiving…

After their van crashes, leaving them stranded in a storm, a group of complete strangers is stuck in an old home with a very dark past.

Movies like The Ghost and the Darkness, The Saint, Tombstone and Batman Forever (call me crazy) made me a Val Kilmer fan. It’s really a shame to see how far he has fallen. 7 Below finds Val’s weight on the decrease from his biggest days but his face is still showing it. He also doesn’t seem to be bothered to do much more than read the lines in his script. I have purposely avoided watching Val Kilmer movies for the past many years but I’m hoping that he still has the skill and passion that he showed in his past successes given the right movie and director.

Probably the biggest problem with 7 Below is that none of the characters are likeable. Some – well one in particular – are downright unlikeable but others are just so paper thin – almost nonexistent – that there’s just nothing to like or dislike about them. The horrible dialogue doesn’t help matters.

I take that back… the biggest problem with 7 Below is that it’s just too dang boring. Even with bodies mysteriously piling up, it’s never exciting or scary or anything. It’s just watching some weird stuff happen to people you don’t care about in a way that isn’t interesting in the slightest.

With a supernatural movie of this sort, I’m usually looking for some surprises… some twists and turns. 7 Below plays out exactly as you would think it would… with all the “scares” where you’d see them coming from a mile away.

I watch a lot of bad movies and 7 Below is right up there with some of the worst. I can usually find a few good things about even the worst movies but this just has nothing going for it, other than the potential this cast has with the right story and direction.

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