Two Halves Of An Ancient Puzzle Are The Only Hope. Starring: Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Robert Patrick, Alyssa Milano, Julia Nickson, Jeff Imada, Al Leong, Kristina Wagner, Vanna White, George Hamilton, Andy Dick Director: James Yukich 1994 | 96 Minutes | PG-13 “Get it straight, you’re Ug Lee, I’m Home Lee.” – Jimmy Lee So,…
We’ve Been Expecting You. Starring: Radha Mitchell, Sean Bean, Laurie Holden, Deborah Kara Unger, Kim Coates, Jodelle Ferland Director: Christophe Gans 2006 | 125 Minutes | Rated R “Only the demon knows where she is.” – Christabella With most video game inspired movies the biggest complaint from game fans is that the movie strays too…
Only The Dead Survive Starring: Natassia Malthe, Clint Howard, Michael Pare Director: Uwe Boll 2010 | 79 Minutes | Rated R “Fuckin’ Nazis.” – BloodRayne So, BloodRayne: The Third Reich has been sitting in my NetFlix instant cue for a long time now. I’m actually getting a little embarrassed when I have friends over for…
Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Ming-Na Wen, Damian Chapa, Kylie Minogue, Simon Callow, Byron Mann, Roshan Seth, Wes Studi, Grand L. Bush, Peter Tuiasosopo, Jay Tavare, Andrew Bryniarski, Gregg Rainwater, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Robert Mammone, Kenya Sawada Trainer / Fight Technician: Benny “The Jet” Urquidez Director: Steven De Souza 1994 | 101 Minutes …
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, Iain Glen, Daniel Craig Director: Simon West 2001 | 100 Minutes | PG-13 “Into the belly of the beast.” – Manfred Powell “And out of the demon’s ass.” – Alex West I have been a gamer for most of my life. I cut my teeth on Super Mario Bros., Mega…
Starring: Jackie Chan, Gary Daniels, Richard Norton, Joey Wong, Kumiko Goto, Chingmy Yau, Leon Lai, Michael Wong, Carol Wen Director: Wong Jing 1993 | 99 Minutes | PG-13 “I hit hard, where as you hit like a girl.” – Ryu Saeba I have put off reviewing City Hunter for quite a while. My first viewing…
Live To Kill. Kill To Live. Starring: Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Michael Pare, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsley, Meat Loaf, Darren Shahlavi Director: Uwe Boll 2006 | 94 Minutes | Unrated “Everyone that comes near me dies.” – Rayne Another Uwe Boll movie, another video game adaptation. I am going in to this with…
Starring: Til Schweiger, Michael Pare, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Natalia Avelon, Udo Kier, Chris Coppola, Ralf Moeller Director: Uwe Boll 2008 | 95 Minutes | Rated R “You’re just a simple boat man.” – Dr. Krieger “I didn’t say anything about being simple.” – Jack Carver Oh, Uwe Boll. Widely considered one of the worst directors alive…
From The Streets A Warrior Has Risen. Starring: Jon Foo, Kelly Overton, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Ian Anthony Dale, Cung Le, Darrin Dewitt Henson, Candice Hillebrand, Luke Goss, Gary Daniels, Roger Huerta Stunt Coordinator: Eric Norris Director: Dwight Little 2010 | 91 Minutes | Rated R “Until today there was only one heir to the Tekken throne. …
Some Fight For Power. Some Fight For Us. Starring: Kristin Kreuk, Chris Klein, Neal McDonough, Robin Shou, Moon Bloodgood, Josie Ho, Taboo, Michael Clarke Duncan Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak 2009 | 97 Minutes | PG-13 “Get the insurance policy. Call Vega.” – M. Bison Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li was another movie I avoided for…
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