Action Movie Fanatix Review: Cross

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To Stop An Ancient Evil, It’s Gonna Take Big Guns, Hard Sticks And Exploding Balls.

Starring: Brian Austin Green, Vinnie Jones, Michael Clarke Duncan, Danny Trejo, Robert Carradine, C. Thomas Howell, Tom Sizemore, Jake Busey, Lori Heuring

Director: Patrick Durham

2011  |  105 Minutes  |  Rated R

“There’s a lot about me that you don’t know.” – Callan Cross

Cross is what happens when someone decides to make a super hero movie but doesn’t want to pay those pesky fees to license a real super hero.  Every once in a while a movie like this pans out.  Usually not.

An ancient Celtic cross is passed down from generation to generation which gives its owner incredible powers.  Callan Cross (Brian Austin Green) is the current holder of the cross and has become a vigilante fighting evil in Los Angeles.

Holy crap is the acting bad.  Everyone who you’ve never seen prior to putting this movie in acts as if they have never been in front of a camera before.  Even many of those actors who have worked in Hollywood before aren’t putting forth much of an effort.  Tom Sizemore is a rather odd choice for Detective Nitti.  It’s hard to believe someone who looks and acts like a drug addict (probably because Sizemore actually is) is actually on the police force.  I do have to say the cast is an interesting mix of different stars of past and the semi-present.  The bigger the name, the shorter they are in the movie.  Danny Trejo’s only appearance is for a second or two in the opening credits.

The hero team is comprised of Cross and a bunch of other non-supers that have dedicated themselves to vigilanteism.  Cross’ only powers are that he is invulnerable while he has his enormous cross necklace on.  Jake Busey is the wisecracking Backfire who has a quiver full of glowing explosive balls that were created by the team’s techie, Nuke.  The rest of the team have names like Ranger or War or Riot who are experts with different types of firearms and all basically wear SWAT gear so they don’t get hurt while Cross’s powers defend him from ever getting hurt.

The bad guys capture young (usually), pretty (sometimes) girls to find the bloodlines passed down from the gods.  With the bloodlines assembled into a staff Gunnar (Vinnie Jones) will have immense power.  Gunnar is an immortal Viking (with a British accent).  Erlik (Michael Clarke Duncan) is a crime lord whose goons (English, Slag, Wire, etc.) help Gunnar collect the girls and their blood.

What wasn’t spent on the actors was clearly spent on the cars.  I am not exactly a motor head but I could definitely have some fun with some of the cars the heroes and villains are tooling around in.

Even though it is only an hour and 45 minutes long the movie really starts to drag for a bit prior to the final battle.  Most of the action is big shoot outs where only the bad guys get hit.  For a super hero movie Cross really doesn’t have much CGI.  Once in a great while Cross will use a force push of sorts but the rest of the time he just uses guns.

I really shouldn’t have liked Cross.  It really isn’t good and I certainly didn’t love it but somehow I was able to push through and enjoy it for what it was… a silly made up super hero with a completely random collection of actors, most of whom are really slumming it here.  There are a few funny one liners (mostly from Jake Busey) and some decent action that could definitely make this a cult classic if more people saw it for what it is (or just simply saw it at all).

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