Only The Dead Survive
Starring: Natassia Malthe, Clint Howard, Michael Pare
Director: Uwe Boll
2010 | 79 Minutes | Rated R
“Fuckin’ Nazis.” – BloodRayne
So, BloodRayne: The Third Reich has been sitting in my NetFlix instant cue for a long time now. I’m actually getting a little embarrassed when I have friends over for a movie and they keep seeing it. Not because I get the “Oh my gosh, you haven’t seen BloodRayne: The Third Reich yet?” It’s more like “Why the hell do you have THAT in your instant cue?” So it’s time to get it out of the cue and into my past.
Half-human, half-vampire Rayne (Natassia Malthe) aids a group of resistance fighters as they square off with undead Nazi soldiers trying to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne’s blood to make him immortal.
In usual Uwe Boll fashion he seems to have spared no expense with the sets, wardrobe and weapons. I don’t quite know how he does it but it’s actually quite impressive.
Also in usual Uwe Boll fashion, he seems to have put all of his time and energy into getting the money to make the movie, getting the sets and wardrobe just right and spraying blood all over the place. He seems to have neglected, again, to put some serious forethought into why he is making this movie and how he would like this movie to come across to his audience. Boll can obviously get money to make his movies. He can also get some pretty decent stars to agree to be a part of them. He knows how to show boobs and spray blood. What he has not yet mastered is composing a well thought out, cohesive story. Uwe Boll movies always seem to feel a little (or a lot) disjointed. If someone is watching any of the BloodRayne movies they are probably not expecting Shakespeare. That said, they should not be watching such a simple plot and wondering what is going on.
Most of the actors are passable but not much more. Natassia Malthe couldn’t even be bothered to dye her hair red. That might have been her trade off for doing the lesbian scene with the German hooker.
Clint Howard, however, seems to have been dropped right into his wheelhouse as a crazy doctor/scientist. If you’ve spent any time watching B-movie action or horror movies you have probably seen Howard in this role. Slightly different look but basically the same character. It’s crazy that this guy is Ron Howard’s brother and he is still getting these types of roles. There are certainly better actors out there but I always enjoy when he picks up a part like this.
The action actually isn’t half bad in BloodRayne: The Third Reich and as could be expected, there is a liberal coating of blood spatter.
I would dare to say that The Third Reich is the best of the BloodRayne movies and probably the best Uwe Boll movie I have seen thus far. I actually kind of had fun watching it. If somehow you’ve stuck out this series thus far as I have you might as well finish it off.
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