Starring: Halle Berry, Benjamin Bratt, Sharon Stone, Lambert Wilson, Frances Conroy, Alex Borstein, Byron Mann
2004 | 104 Minutes | PG-13
“Cat got your tongue?” – Catwoman
Patience Phillips is a shy graphic designer for Hedare Beauty. When Patience stumbles upon a corporate meeting that she shouldn’t have known anything about, she is killed… momentarily. A mystical cat finds her dead body and resurrects her as the leather-clad, jewelry stealing, corporate fat cat fighting Catwoman.
Catwoman has a pretty poor reputation from… well… seemingly anybody who’s seen it. Often times I look at a movie like this and think that people were just a tad too harsh with it. With Catwoman, they couldn’t have possibly been harsh enough.
The movie plays out a bit like a Pretty Woman super hero movie. Halle Berry’s beauty is toned down for the initial few minutes. Then she’s killed and comes back as the beautiful, vengeful Catwoman. It’s a little bit girl power, a little but mean girls.
In this lame Elseworlds version of Catwoman (something like What If Catwoman was The Crow?) there is an ancient CGI cat breaths its presumably fishy breath that resurrects women that have been wrongfully killed and gives them cat powers which basically means she has Spidey-sense and a CGI version of herself can jump really high.
Why even use the Catwoman license if you aren’t going to use the Catwoman character or story? The only connection this movie has to the DC comics character, other than the name, is that she is apparently a successor to Michelle Pheifer’s Catwoman, since that version was also resurrected by cats and we see a photo of her at the crazy cat lady’s house.
The camera work is really interesting but seems more suited for something a bit more futuristic.
The CGI work on her movements is REALLY video gamey. The way she moves is not even remotely believable for a human being with any sort of skeletal structure. The final fight is equally disappointing, though I don’t know if disappointment is even possible after the previous 90 minutes. The editing is choppy. The choreography is garbage. And there’s more bad CGI… and not just on Catwoman herself.
I thought I was prepared for how bad a movie like Catwoman was until I actually saw it. Seriously… how did this even get made? And how did they get Halle Berry? Catwoman is without a doubt, one of the worst super hero movies of all time AND one of the worst movies I have personally ever seen… and I have seen some stinkers.