Try To Remain Calm
Starring: Bianca Bree, Sean Brosnan, Simon Phillips, Maya Grant, Jazz Lintott, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sean Pertwee, Joey Ansah
Director: Dominic Burns
2012 | 101 Minutes | Rated R
“You’re nothing but a cold blooded killer.” – Carrie
Alien Invasion was originally going to be called U.F.O. Both titles are pretty uninspired and there’s really only one reason I’m watching it… Jean-Claude Van Damme. And even the great JCVD couldn’t save this train wreck.
A group of friends get together for a night out drinking when an alien invasion begins. They must stick together to survive the chaos around them and the attacks from the extraterrestrial invaders.
This is the alien version of a zombie movie story. It’s more about the people dealing with other people who are panicked about the alien invasion rather than being so much about the alien invasion itself. This is certainly the cheaper way of making an alien invasion movie… don’t know if it’s actually better though. (it’s not)
Literally nothing happening for the first hour… And I mean nothing. We see an alien ship… not yet an invasion, just a ship hovering overhead and people freaking out (as they would). It all amounts to a bored viewer waiting for the attack.
The effects are decent on the alien ships but get downright horrible on everything else – fire, explosions, etc…
Most of the characters are pretty bland and the actors playing those characters do nothing to help matters despite two of them being the offspring of some pretty awesome blood. Bianca Bree is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s daughter and Sean Brosnan is Pierce Brosnan’s son.
Bianca Bree is obnoxious. Hopefully this is just the character she was told to portray and not her actual voice. Lucky for her, Daddy has been trying to help her out. He even make a short, pointless appearance here so the producers could put his name on the posters and DVD covers.
There’s a random scene where a police officer attacks one of our bland heroes because he is trying to save a little girl. The two guys (police officer and bland hero) break out into a martial arts fight… because… you know… most people involved in an alien invasion movie know martial arts.
All in all, there just isn’t much here to sink your teeth into. I’m a bit of a completionist so I’m glad to say I did see Alien Uprising so I can add it to my JCVD career list but that’s about it. I guess if you share some of my anal retentive qualities then it’s worth a watch, otherwise there’s WAY better JCVD and alien invasion movies out there. WAY better!
2 thoughts on “Action Movie Fanatix Review: Alien Uprising”
Laughed out loud at the random martial arts fight. This sounds awesome. Poor JCVD has appeared in a ton of crap over the years. Such a shame!
Thanks! I try to be humorous but never quite know if something that is funny to me writing it is going to be funny to someone reading it.
JCVD has had better choices in movies (I think) over the past few years. Alien Uprising was just him trying to help his daughter out, I think.